Necessary Tools To Survive a Zombie Apocalypse

Plenty of Cash " Millions"  ( To burn at night to keep you warm on freezing nights )

A Divorce Lawyer ( Where you can purposely trip him while being chased by a horde of fleash eating zombies

Handle of Jack Daniels ( To Ease The Pain when you Think you've been bitten by a zombie )

Paintball Gun ( To Paint a Zombie Horde into a beautiful Monet like canvas on a Bored Day )

The White House ( To Serve as a Rehabilitation Camp for Zombies, Not much Has Changed on Capitol Hill )

Portable DVD Player ( To Watch Dawn of the Dead and Remind you of the Things you really need )